lass-intheveil:

You will comprehend if you feel the same way as mine.

You know, how it feels when you realize that you won’t live forever, and you have your limit, and you feel the end is coming closer or you don’t know when the end will come. It’s so hard for me, anxiety surrounds me everytime I count my mistakes, my sins, and everything I should pay that haven’t been paid. You won’t know this if you haven’t realized. You will die with regret. You have to understand and get everything’s better and well. So, someday when you leave, it comes with peace.

18th Jun 2013 | 2 notes

Baca saja.

19.11 WIB
Aku disini menunggu sebuah kabar. Aku menunggu satu ucapan sapa. Kamu tahu apa yang aku pikirkan selama aku menunggu? Aku memikirkan bagaimana aku harus menjelaskan sesuatu kepadamu. Membuat kamu mengerti. Bukan sekedar tahu, tapi paham. Mungkin ini sepele bagimu. Tetapi berbeda untukku.

Kamu tahu ketika suatu vas tanah liat terjatuh, lalu pecah? Bagaimana keadaannya jika kita menyatukan itu kembali? Kembali ke bentuk semulakah? Ya. Tapi bagaimana dengan retakannya? Apa bisa menjadi hilang begitu saja?

Sekarang. Aku menyalahkan kamu dengan semua keegoisanku. Tanpa melihat bagaimana kamu dan bagaimana perjuanganmu. Begitupula kamu.
Lalu aku kecewa padamu dengan masalah yang aku buat sendiri pada awalnya. Mungkin kamu membalasnya.

Apa kita saling tahu? Apa aku tahu apa yang kamu rasakan? Apa kamu tahu apa yang aku rasakan? Aku rasa tidak.

Aku terlalu mengharapkanmu. Aku selalu terlalu mengharapkanmu. Aku butuh waktu. Waktu agar aku tidak terlalu mengharapkanmu. Agar semuanya tidak selalu tentangmu.

Peduli itu akan tetap untukmu. Rasa itu juga. Yang aku hentikan adalah mengharapkanmu mengerti aku, berhenti mengharapkanmu memikirkan aku seperti aku memikirkanmu. Aku tahu selama ini kamu tidak pernah tahu seberapa besar pengharapanku, seberapa besar rasa takutku.

Tapi yang pasti sekarang, kamu tahu.

Dari seseorang yang selalu menyukai kehadiranmu.

17th Jun 2013

dawnawakened:

Johann Ryno De Wet, Underland (2009)

“My methodology for creating images starts with writing down the events of the dream as soon as I’ve woken up. Sometimes I’ll make sketches to help me remember particular visual details of the dream. I use this information to look for subject matter in my environment that has elements matching those of the environment of the dream. I then use digital manipulation to combine different visual elements to create the environments and the atmosphere I experienced in the dream. This is an important part, as it is where I transform my vision into a tangible medium. The meaning of a dream is the most important part, as it forms the backbone of the project. I therefore focus on using dreams that have a lasting effect on me, or is meaningful to me in some way. To me life is an existential journey and dreams can play an important part in learning how to deal with the complexities of living and can help to see things from a different perspective. The materializing of my dreams into images is a process which helps me understand myself and life better.” - Artist’s Statement

17th Jun 2013 | 16,118 notes

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I’ll still feel you here ‘til the moment I’m gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

Set me free, leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I’m supposed to be.
But you’re on to me and all over me.

You loved me ‘cause I’m fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you’re everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you’re keeping me down.
You’re keeping me down, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You’re on to me, on to me, and all over…
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

16th Jun 2013